Imposter Syndrome, Resilience, and Redefining Success

From the outside, it may seem as though I have accomplished so much—a textbook success story of a child of immigrant parents. By the age of 27, I held a doctorate in clinical psychology. I still remember the look on my father’s face the day I received my degree. He stood next to me, holding a picture of me as a baby—his pride radiating in a way that words couldn’t capture. My mother, a woman who had endured so much, now stood witnessing her daughter achieve what she had once only dared to hope for.

In that moment, I felt the weight and honor of carrying my family’s name. I wanted the world to know that my parents were the reason I had arrived at this place. I continued to build my career—leading in my faith-based community, expanding my expertise in trauma, and taking on leadership roles. But what the world saw on the outside was not always aligned with what I felt internally.

Even after almost two decades into my career, imposter syndrome was a persistent companion. I would see friends and colleagues embarking on new opportunities, working with populations I had always aspired to serve. While I celebrated their success, I questioned why I wasn’t the one being sought after for those roles. Despite holding leadership positions—becoming the DFW Director for the Center for Survivors of Torture, managing programs, running my own practice, and traveling internationally to train others in trauma work—I often felt like I had accomplished nothing.

My imposter syndrome was relentless. I told myself I needed more training, more certifications, more experience. I worked overtime to prove, mostly to myself, that I was good enough.

Then, after embarking on a business venture with two partners and watching that business fail, I found myself questioning everything. I convinced myself that I had nothing to show for my life. I sat in that space of self-doubt until I was forced to take a step back and reflect—not on what I hadn’t achieved, but on what I had.

How I Began to Dismantle My Imposter Syndrome

1. Owning My Expertise – My imposter syndrome diminished when I stopped comparing my path to others and focused on my strengths. Instead of chasing areas where others were thriving, I leaned into what I was passionate about—trauma work. A close friend and colleague is an expert in parenting. I could have pursued that field, but I recognized that my true expertise was in trauma, resilience, and leadership. I learned that honoring my own expertise allowed me to thrive without feeling inadequate in comparison to others.
2. Recognizing My Resilience – Imposter syndrome lost its grip when I reminded myself of the personal battles I had overcome. In my most difficult moments, I had shown up for myself. If I could do that in my personal life without hesitation, why was I doubting my ability to do the same professionally? Resilience is the foundation that allows us to withstand setbacks and self-doubt, and when I truly acknowledged my own, I reclaimed confidence in my abilities.
3. Redefining Failure – Failure wasn’t a sign that I wasn’t thriving; it was a signal that I was growing. I reframed failure as a buffer against imposter syndrome. The experience of failure deepened my empathy, broadened my perspective, and allowed me to connect with others in ways I never had before. While one business failed, another flourished. I learned to have hard conversations with compassion, set boundaries without guilt, and trust my instincts. Most importantly, I realized that when I built something aligned with my passion rather than chasing an abstract definition of success, I thrived.

Summary & Key Takeaways

Imposter syndrome can be a persistent challenge, even for those with extensive experience and accomplishments. It thrives in comparison, self-doubt, and the relentless pursuit of external validation. But through self-reflection, resilience, and embracing one’s unique strengths, it is possible to loosen its grip.

If you find yourself battling imposter syndrome, consider these strategies:

• Own your expertise – Identify what you uniquely bring to the table and trust in its value.
• Acknowledge your resilience – Reflect on past hardships you’ve overcome; your strength is already within you.
• Redefine failure – View setbacks as learning opportunities rather than proof of inadequacy.
• Surround yourself with the right voices – Seek out those who see your worth and remind you of it when you forget.
• Stay aligned with your passion – Success is not about chasing visibility or validation but about leaning into what truly fulfills you.

Imposter syndrome may never fully disappear, but it doesn’t have to dictate our journey. The key is to recognize that our achievements, no matter how invisible they may seem at times, are real and worthy of acknowledgment.